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105 AN T I OC H CO L L E G E C L A S S O F 19 6 5 5 0 t h A N N I V E R S A R Y B O O K A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z M E R I S S MERRISS RICHARD E. THEN AND NOW 4 B.A. History 4 Southern Oregon College, Teaching certificate 4 J.D., Empire College School of Law FAMI LY 4 Wife, Joan Pier Merriss ADDRESS 4 8884 Lebec Lane Cotati, CA 94931 CONTACT remerriss@yahoo.com I W I L L S T A R T where I am: with some anxiety about how to express myself but with much gratitude that I have good health and that my daily Qi Gong practice helps to build and maintain a strong and positive Qi field each day. This may protect me and keep me safe at times, but, more importantly, this opens my whole being to possibilities, opens my heart to connecting with oth- ers, opens my mind to thoughts and ideas, opens my consciousness to the Universe. For me, Qi Gong, with its development throughTaoism and Buddhism, is more than a meditation practice. It is a healing practice and a way for living a healthier, happier life, a way for realizing and nour- ishing equanimity and loving kind- ness. I thank History Professor Frank Wong for introducing me to the Tao Te Ching. My story gets longer every day. History. Herstory. Whose story? Teachers! We are all teachers, and some have made deeper impres- sions than others. My father was a master teacher, teaching in Connect icut pr i - vate schools—Choate School in Wallingford, until 1951, and then Greenwich Country Day School. He taught me in Latin and English when I was 14 and in the 9th grade at GCDS. He seemed to be an excellent teacher, sometimes impatient, but he mellowed over the years, I’ve been told by younger alumni. Still, it was“old school”education. I learned to “follow the rules” in such a way that I looked pretty good, but some part of me was sizing things up so that I could be a success at sneak- ery/thievery. I was good at stealing things from retail stores mostly, fish- ing lures, candy, small things mostly. When I stole $10 from Dad’s desk drawer, I couldn’t deny the accusa- tion and I received a spanking. I be- came a more skilled thief. I came to Antioch via Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie,N.Y., a wonderful school that Dad sent me to when I was 14, as a sophomore. I am very grateful that he sent me there. It opened my eyes, broadened my world view and appreciation of the differences between people and how so much can be learned from that. One positive for me in the Antioch experience was the continu- ation of that tradition of acceptance that I found at Oakwood. I consider myself to be a xenophile. I loved the experience of studying and living in Mexico—Guanajuato. I did not love the director of the Antioch program in Mexico; in fact we became ene- mies. He threw a punch at me. I was most insolent and disrespectful of his hypocritical, philandering ways. Such a callow youth. Pacifist? With so much anger? I’ve had such conf licted feel- ings about my Antioch experience. Perhaps this is another positive in that thinking about and writing about my particular Antioch expe- rience can serve to encourage and nurture a more equanimous view of that experience. Looking back I can see that I took to the Antioch cul- ture like a fish to water. It suited me just fine that Antioch supported and encouraged my independent nature and my snobbish attitude toward “adults” and my consideration that I knew what was best for myself. What was not positive about this was that, while there were some excellent teachers at Antioch who I respected and appreciated, there was very little guidance or mentor- ing.To me this fostered a disconnec- tion that encouraged my tendency to feel superior and judgmental to- ward those who had thoughts and views at odds with my own. I cringe when I think of how disrespectful I often was, especially toward those who I know loved and cared for me. Looking back I can see that I suffered from a few delusions; e.g., that I was an independent, fully-re- sponsible-for-myself human being. I thought that all my decisions were