AC_1965_Web

106 AN T I OC H CO L L E G E C L A S S O F 19 6 5 5 0 t h A N N I V E R S A R Y B O O K A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z M E R I S S healthy and well-considered. In June 1964 I married Charlotte Eakin. In June 1965 I began divorce proceedings.As I remember, we de- cided to get married because her parents would have “freaked out” if they knew we were having sex. I was too young; I was not ready to be in a long-term, committed relation- ship. I was a“stupid asshole”and felt terrible for hurting her. I think that a true friend and mentor would have advised us not to get married at that time and to be honest and forthright with her parents. We thought we knew best what to do. It’s hard to let go of blame of myself, of Charlotte’s parents.There is much sadness there and hard lessons learned. In September 1965 I moved to the San Francisco area with Laura Jane Graybeal [Sherman], ’65, and started a graduate program at Stanford, but I soon dropped out. It was not what I thought I wanted to do. I wanted to “drop out, turn on, tune in”and be an artist and photog- rapher, like Imogene Cunningham, Henri Cartier-Bresson and others. Laura Jane and I soon broke up, but we both attended group therapy and that is where I met my wife’s mother, Emily Knapp, and shortly af- ter that I met her daughter, Joan Pier. I joined the Teamsters Union and drove a truck for a few years, and this started a many-faceted working career that included: starting and selling a janitorial business and a landscaping business, teaching sec- ond grade, working in a garage door business, a gate designer and sales person, working as a contracts man- ager, a project manager, mediator and program manager for a youth victim/offender diversion program. In 1968, Joan and I married and we have lived and raised our chil- dren in northern California, the last 43 years in Sonoma County.We have raised four relatively well-adjusted children who have pretty healthy attitudes and approaches to life. We also agree that we managed to provide a better, more stable child- hood environment for them than we had growing up. It does seem amaz- ing that we are still married. I think much of that is due to having simi- lar aims and values for ourselves and being in therapy and couples coun- seling. We are both retired now and currently live in Cotati, near Petaluma. Joan loves cooking. I love bird watching, gardening, and I prac- tice Healing Qi Gong and medita- tion almost daily. I know it keeps me healthy and fosters a healthy,positive, caring attitude. I do look forward to this reunion with some trepidation and with a wish for greater equanim- ity and acceptance and appreciation for my Antioch experience.