Bob Wyatt, Prince of Patterdale Hall, held his annual Midsummer Party at the Hall in June. He and some pals built a Trojan horse and paraded around Yellow Springs. (Submitted photo)
The Patterdale Hall Diaries | My kingdom for a horse
- Published: July 20, 2026
By Chris Wyatt
June 2, 2026
It is the prettiest day of the year so far. Blue skies and temperatures predicted to be in the mid-70s. Our trivia team came second last night, and so I am buoyant and filled with a love of life. I shall temper this joie de vivre with a spot of mowing, reading, weeding and dog walking.
The Brandywine tomatoes are thriving on their diet of fish emulsion, worm castings and bat guano. The peardrop tomatoes are struggling a bit, but if the weather stays sunny, they should begin to pick up. I’m happy that my green beans have come up as well; I didn’t really expect them to, but five out of six plants germinated, so I shall keep them happy and fed.
Ah, summer. I have a report to write, but it can wait another day. I shall hang out with the dog rather than sit in a windowless office. Little Archie has been sick three times in the last four days, each time on my freshly laundered bed. I shall keep an eye on him; he seems perky enough at the moment.
In the meantime, I shall wash my bed linen again.
June 5, 2026
A rest day at Patterdale Hall. The lawns are mowed, and bees are busy in the flowers. Our big thistle is magnificent this year. This is a portent for Scotland’s performance in the World Cup, clearly.
Time to take it easy with a big glass of water and my book. There are several shady spots and, so far, no humidity. Relaxation will occur.
JUune 7, 2026
A lazy Sunday. I’ll fix a broken window with some cardboard and take some photos of the musk thistle; it really is magnificent. That aside, all I really need to do is water the beans and tomatoes. I also think I’ll buy a guide to edible wild plants in Ohio. What could go wrong? Hopefully, the next diary entry isn’t from Soin — my preferred emergency room.
June 10, 2026
It is very, very humid. I’m glad we got the AC replaced at home, and I need to fix the AC unit at the Hall so it can vent through a broken window. Karen is 100% focused on quilting in the cool air. She has discovered William Morris fabrics that have been recolored by Kaffe Fassett; they are beautiful and perfect for quilting. She has a show later this year, so they will be on display in the Winds in September and October.
I can work from home today. Editing amendments to protocols is easy work and should only take a couple of hours if I get my head down.
The humidity is the worst it’s been this year so far, and I will never get used to it. Weather like this simply doesn’t happen in the U.K. There is no way I’m pushing a mower around the Hall.
June 12, 2026
It’s lovely to have both boys home for the summer. Not that they ever left, but it’s still lovely to have them here. Morris just made chicken wings, and Bob is working on a mushroom and spinach risotto. The house smells like heaven.
I’m quite sleepy this evening. I think I’ll read a little and then drift.
Staccato updates. I’m tired.
June 14, 2026
We survived another Street Fair. To be honest, it was pretty mellow. I can walk Archie down the back alleys, and now we have a fence around the yard, we don’t end up with random tourists wandering through.
I considered heading out to the Hall but ultimately stayed put. It rained overnight, so nothing needs watering, though I may feed the tomatoes.
A lazy summer Sunday. I shall read and potter about.
June 15, 2026
Deer netting is up. Hopefully, the beans will recover from the pruning that they received. The tomatoes are doing well and fruiting already.
June 23, 2026
I took a wee break from updating the diary. Bob had his traditional Midsummer Party out at the Hall. This year, the theme was “The Trojan Horse,” so he and his friends built one at home, dressed as horses and paraded it around town. Then the horse was transported to Patterdale Hall, and there was a feast of roast turkey and mushroom risotto. Much fun.
I popped out the following day to check on the damage, and there wasn’t any; everything had been tidied up. Good kids.
However, now we have a large Trojan horse out at the Hall. Fortunately, it is on wheels, and so I may use it as a rolling “gate” to block off the gravel driveway. We get occasional unwanted visitors, and placing a giant wooden horse in the drive will lead to confusion and fear, hopefully. Probably not, but it will still impede someone’s ability to get on the property.
My friend Mike is having a July Fourth party in a few weeks, and this year I may go. There is always a great spread of food, and I fancy cooking plov. Plov is a traditional dish from Uzbekistan; it is rice and spicy lamb, and I’ll add raisins and dried apricots to make it fancy. Its name is rooted in “pilaf,” as recipes as well as language spread along the Silk Road. It isn’t a terribly American dish to cook, but I suspect it will be delicious.
Originally from Manchester, England, Chris Wyatt is an associate professor of neuroscience, cell biology and physiology at Wright State University. He has lived in Yellow Springs for 19 years, is married and has two children and an insane Patterdale terrier. “The Patterdale Hall Diaries,” by Chris Wyatt, is now available in book format via Amazon for $11.99.
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