Chris Wyatt's Patterdale Hall, as seen from above.
The Patterdale Hall Diaries | A hypnagogic state of affairs
- Published: August 28, 2026
By Chris Wyatt
May 1, 2026
A chilly start to May.
Exams are done, as is my grading. Now I wait for my colleagues to grade their sections before compiling everything and assigning final grades. Bizarrely, at Wright State, students find out their final grades after convocation. I’m not sure why this happens but it means that a student can walk at the graduation ceremony, and then several days later discover that they failed.
Conversely, a good student can graduate magna cum laude and then discover a week later they are actually summa cum laude. I’m sure there is some rationale to this that involves money, but I can’t for the life of me think what it might be. I guess it may simply be that they print a large glossy brochure with the latin honors printed in it, and that takes time to produce.
I’ll attend convocation tonight for graduate students, and then present my son with his graduation certificate tomorrow at the undergraduate ceremony.
Master has given Bobby a certificate, Bobby is free.
May 3, 2026
A brisk, sunny Sunday. During the week a storm knocked a huge branch out of our maple at the back of the Yellow Springs house. It destroyed our back deck and smashed two fence panels into their component atoms. Until it is fixed, Archie remains on-leash at all times; he can now smell freedom. We should probably replace four panels as the fence was done cheaply and is completely rotten. Well, the upright posts are fine, but you can break the panels apart with your fingers.
A relatively simple job for someone else to do.
Sungolds are dead. Failure to thrive. Will invest in brandywines and peardrops from Butter Flower Farm.
May 4, 2026
This week I teach medical students, proctor my final student exams, attend a departmental retreat and chair an IACUC meeting. Then I’m done teaching for the semester. I still have many work-related things to do over the summer but I can take my foot off the gas a little. It’s a relief.
This was the first semester for a long time where I managed to avoid a trip to the hospital. My surgery last year was a triumphant success.
May 9, 2026
The beans are in the ground and spring has officially sprung. It looks like we will get one more chilly day and then it is plain sailing into summer. I love the month of May in southwest Ohio, the weather can be absolutely idyllic.
The beans are nothing fancy, just some heritage stringless green beans. My dad would always grow “French” beans and huge runner beans that absolutely were not stringless, they were delicious though, and required an 8-foot trellis. Dad would grow potatoes, peas, onions, beans and carrots in our back garden.
His father, Frank, was a vegetarian — unless he shot it or pulled it out of a river — and this was extremely unusual for a man living in rural Devon in the middle of the 20th century. Frank’s vegetable patch was extremely well tended, old Gaffer Gamgee would have been proud of it. I don’t aspire to be able to match it, but growing my own vegetables is a very satisfying pastime. Salade Nicoise will be delightful in the summer months.
May 12, 2026
Spring cleaning day. It is impossible to keep mice out of the kitchen at The Hall, and while we didn’t have many, we had enough to make a mess.
The kitchen was essentially mothballed for the winter, as there was no water. Now that the water is back and I have time on my hands, it’s time to make the place usable again.
I think I’ll really just focus on surfaces today, as currently we can’t see any surfaces for dirty dishes and pans. It isn’t quite the level of the kitchen in the movie “Withnail and I,” but bleach is definitely going to be used … as are gloves … and maybe a mask.
My creative passions have swerved toward vinegar again. I made a wonderful malt vinegar from one of YS Brewery’s barleywines — diluted 60-40 with water, final ABV, 6% — and now I’m experimenting with the fruity beer Raspberry Springer. If it turns out OK this should be perfect for vinaigrette, or for spraying on barbecue. My best vinegar was made with the viking ale Jord’s Bounty — it had wonderful notes of rosemary and redcurrant.
May 14, 2026
As it begins to get dark, I fall asleep. I wake when the light begins. This is good as it means I’m getting about nine hours of sleep, which is lovely. I drift off looking at the trees out of the window and I wake up with the same view. I enjoy experiencing the weird hypnagogic and hypnopompic states, where I see faces in the leaves of the trees: Jack-in-the-Green or the Green Man are the most common. Both have the same roots, not strictly ancient, but certainly symbols of Spring.
Today will be cloudy, and I will spend time putting up deer netting to protect my fledgling tomato and bean plants. The netting is cheap and effective, the deer hate it. It is black nylon mesh, seven feet tall and almost invisible, so the deer noses hit it. This startles them as it has no smell, and they tend to avoid the area after the encounter. It works a treat.
I adore May in southwest Ohio.
*Originally from Manchester, England, Chris Wyatt is an associate professor of neuroscience, cell biology and physiology at Wright State University. He has lived in Yellow Springs for nearly two decades, is married and has two children and an insane Patterdale terrier. “The Patterdale Hall Diaries,” by Chris Wyatt, is now available in book format via Amazon for $11.99.
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