Chris Wyatt and his wife Karen Russell trudge through the dense brush around their
country cottage, Patterdale Hall. (Submitted photo)
The Patterdale Hall Diaries | Life under the dome
- Published: September 25, 2026
By Chris Wyatt
July 4, 2026
We are under a heat dome. It is intense. Over a week of temperatures in the mid-90s has rendered yard work impossible. Patterdale Hall is out of control, but I cannot mow there in this heat. I have just mowed at the Elm Street house, which has a small yard, and I actually feel nauseous. Under normal circumstances it takes well over an hour to mow at the Hall, and two tanks of gas. I would absolutely get heat stroke if I attempted that, and so we have a wilderness, sadly.
Karen hasn’t left the house for weeks now. She made it to Street Fair but that was her last foray out. We are not built for this heat. I am sitting quietly in the dark of the living room with my little dog. We also cannot walk Archie very far — he is a little black dog and he gets very hot, very fast. One block walks or under the trees on Mills Lawn is as far as I will take him, and even then it takes him a long time to recover.
I opted not to make plov for the party. I made a test batch and it was tasty, but greasy. Instead, I have made a classic chicken biriyani which is a dish that I love to make. I cranked the spice up a little so hopefully folk enjoy it.
Well, even though I can’t mow I started the lawn mower up. It is running very erratically, so I’ll go through all the standard things before I panic. The spark plug is new, so I’ll change the oil and clean the air filter. I bought a Black and Decker mower which was immediately discontinued, and now it is hard to get parts. It may be prudent to get a new mower, but this one is only four-and-a-half years old, so that will annoy me enormously. Let’s see where some tweaking gets me.
July 7, 2026
The lawnmower is fine after an oil change and a cleaning of the air filter, I shall wrap up mowing today after my doctor’s appointment. I will also need to bag up the thistledown that is now everywhere, or we will have a world of thistles next year.
July 9, 2026
The lawnmower is absolutely not fine. This must be thrilling for everybody. What a saga.
Sigh.
July 13, 2026
It’s hot. I’m doing small chores and then retreating back to air conditioning. The kitchen is now much cleaner than it was. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it is actually clean, but it’s definitely cleaner than it was. The fridge no longer causes dismay when I look in it, and the rugs have all made it through the washing machine. Today I shall sweep the living room and then tomorrow I may break out the vacuum cleaner. Thrilling.
Ha! Just when you get in a boring little rut, something exciting happens. While cleaning the kitchen I noticed a total absence of mouse droppings. This is unusual, but welcome.
The rural nature of Patterdale Hall means we tend to constantly wage war against the mouse population, so no mouse droppings is unusual.
Anyway, I had plonked my watering can in the sink, started filling it, and reached for my tomato feed. However, wrapped around the fertilizer was a four foot long black rat snake, about two inches thick at its fattest bit. I love black rat snakes. They are beautiful. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t startled. I was. But I was mostly delighted. I have called the snake “Barry.” Anyway, Barry slithered off into the cupboard where our fuse box is, and then through a hole and into the wall of the house. It’s nice to know that we have a shy little snake friend living with us. Hopefully, he stays fat and happy.
July 22, 2026
It’s my dad’s birthday today so I’ll phone him shortly. I’ve not been back to the UK for several years now, and will wait until my green card is renewed in 2028 before I travel again. In the meantime, I’ll spend time trying to be as calm as possible.
I did manage to fix the lawnmower. Cleaning the air filter wasn’t enough and it did just need to be replaced; ten bucks at Menards seemed pretty reasonable. Now with an oil change and a new air filter it runs fine. Which is just as well as we have temperatures in the 70s this week so I will be mowing for sure.
Tomatoes are ripening. Exciting times.
July 23, 2026
Now the temperatures are in the 70s it’s easier to appreciate that this is a pretty time of year. Pale blue chicory flowers line the back roads, and our bergamot flowers are everywhere. The butterflies are very happy indeed, they love bergamot.
It’s my brother’s birthday today. He is going to see “The Spy Who Came in from the Cold” at the Lowry Theater in Salford, Manchester. I have always struggled with John le Carre, so I hope the play is more thrilling than the book, which I found tedious. Mind you many people love spy thrillers so maybe he’ll be on the edge of his seat shouting “he’s behind you” at the actors, before his wife has to drag him to the parking lot to calm down.
“Look, Mark, ice cream! Stop shouting about briefcases and Berettas.”
I miss my brother.
*Originally from Manchester, England, Chris Wyatt is an associate professor of neuroscience, cell biology and physiology at Wright State University. He has lived in Yellow Springs for 19 years, is married and has two children and an insane Patterdale terrier. “The Patterdale Hall Diaries,” by Chris Wyatt, is now available in book format via Amazon for $11.99.
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