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Articles About APRIL FOOLS! :: Page 4
Really, now! April Fools! —the News team
Excessive visioning may be harmful to your health, according to the Greene County Combined Health District and consequently villagers are being ordered to take part in an upcoming “No Visioning” week.
In response to the demands of a changing demographic of younger readers used to getting their news on the fly, the Yellow Springs News pointed out Thursday that its product has been “mobile,” since 1880.
Thinking it was overgrown grass gone wild, school groundskeeper Craggy Conman threw his John Deere into high gear over the weekend and sheared the front lawn at Mills Lawn School down to an inch high. Luckily, he was only halfway done when he realized he had just shredded the artwork of Javabrite girls Nancine Lemon and Corrie Barakinanigloo, who have spent the past six months under a tarp knitting each of the lawn’s nearly 83 million blades of grass by hand.
At its March 22 meeting, Village Council considered plans for a proposed cat park in Yellow Springs. The idea for a cat park was pitched by a group of villagers concerned with the general health and well-being of the village’s numerous domestic cats, and also upset that dog owners might be getting favorable treatment.
In a surprise move, the leaders of the new Antioch College recently announced that they’re scrapping plans to reopen the school as an independent liberal arts college. Instead, they plan to launch a center for the production of alternative energy, specifically, converting bovine feces into biogas.