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Mar
28
2024

April Fools! Section :: Page 4

  • Three time’s a charm— Antioch celebrates with new tower

    Even with all the construction going on these days at the Antioch College campus, it would be difficult to miss the addition of a third tower over the south wing of Main Building.

  • Village art gallery mounts display of ordinances

    Really, now! April Fools!—the News team

  • Be a good spork: from filling station to fabulous

    Jewelry lovers, rejoice! When it comes to personal adornment, there are some new wares in town.

  • New resident confused by reference to ‘Weaver’s’

    Really, now! April Fools! —The News team  

  • Six degrees of separation down to 1.5 in village

    Really, now! April Fools! —the News team

  • Health concerns lead to ‘No Visioning’

    Excessive visioning may be harmful to your health, according to the Greene County Combined Health District and consequently villagers are being ordered to take part in an upcoming “No Visioning” week.

  • “Mobile” edition old news

    In response to the demands of a changing demographic of younger readers used to getting their news on the fly, the Yellow Springs News pointed out Thursday that its product has been “mobile,” since 1880.

  • Knitters’ art shredded to bits

    Thinking it was overgrown grass gone wild, school groundskeeper Craggy Conman threw his John Deere into high gear over the weekend and sheared the front lawn at Mills Lawn School down to an inch high. Luckily, he was only halfway done when he realized he had just shredded the artwork of Javabrite girls Nancine Lemon and Corrie Barakinanigloo, who have spent the past six months under a tarp knitting each of the lawn’s nearly 83 million blades of grass by hand.

  • Cat park claws for concern

    At its March 22 meeting, Village Council considered plans for a proposed cat park in Yellow Springs. The idea for a cat park was pitched by a group of villagers concerned with the general health and well-being of the village’s numerous domestic cats, and also upset that dog owners might be getting favorable treatment.

  • College to produce ‘patty power’

    In a surprise move, the leaders of the new Antioch College recently announced that they’re scrapping plans to reopen the school as an independent liberal arts college. Instead, they plan to launch a center for the production of alternative energy, specifically, converting bovine feces into biogas.

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