April Fools! Section
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Local paper wonders: ‘Where’s the joke?’
One local newspaper — which has, in years past, upheld a tradition of publishing faux news stories based on current events with the intent of tickling readers’ funny bones on April 1 — decries how difficult it is at the moment to find something to laugh at.
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Daylight Saving time shifts upcoming solar eclipse forward by one hour
A consequence of Daylight Saving Time, the grand solar eclipse of 2024 on Monday, April 8, will have to be moved forward by one hour to accommodate last month’s time change.
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Council establishes mandatory minimums for Halloween treats
In a 3–2 vote at their Saturday, April 1 emergency meeting, Village Council members established new guidelines for those wishing to pass out candy during trick-or-treat.
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Council passes ‘six inches of separation’ post-pandemic protocol
Village Council’s passing of the post-pandemic protocol mandating 6-inches of separation has villagers up in (each other’s) arms.
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News from the Future
“Council will unveil plans to raze Beatty-Hughes Park after a lost addendum is found to the last will and testament of William Mills, indicating his intention that the land be turned into a parking lot.”
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Traffic safety pattern snares parents, drivers
What started out as another attempt at reworking traffic flow to accommodate student drop-off at Mills Lawn School turned into a dystopian, one-dimensional nightmare of automotive agony and no escape.
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Remote possibilities— Plague lifestyle may be money saver
The Yellow Springs Snooze is taking the lemons the current pandemic has given it, and is about to make some fine hay. Drawing inspiration from its ongoing lessons in remote production of its weekly product, the Snooze is rolling out the next logical step in decentralization: remote printing.
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Activists shed light on plight— ‘Save the Lamps’ heats up
The divisive campaign to “Save the Antioch Lamps’’ has recently gained momentum. The controversy over the college’s appliances has torn the social fabric of the village asunder.
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Welcome to newest visitors
For members of Magicicada septendecim, Yellow Springs is the perfect destination for their four- to six-week freelove fest that comes once every 17 years.
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One size fits all— Building slated for Short St.
At a recent meeting of Planning Commission, Amalgam Development presented the first rendering of its new energy-coherent, hybrid-concept, collective-purpose complex, which the company aims to open by April 1 of 2022.
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